Submission To Our Husbands



The definition of Submit is 1. to give over or yield to the power or authority of another  2. to subject to some kind of treatment or influence  3. to defer to another’s judgment, opinion, decision, etc.

In order to get a better understanding of submission, let’s look at what the scriptures reveal about a relationship between man and woman and how it should be structured.  Let’s start at the beginning with Genesis 3:1-16:

And the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which יהוה Alahiym had made, and he said to the woman, “Is it true that Alahiym has said, ‘Do not eat of every tree of the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We are to eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden, but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, Alahiym has said, ‘Do not eat of it, nor touch it, lest you die.’ ” And the serpent said to the woman, “You shall certainly not die. “For Alahiym knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes shall be opened, and you shall be like Alahiym, knowing good and evil.” And the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, and she took of its fruit and ate. And she also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made loin coverings for themselves. And they heard the sound of יהוה Alahiym walking about in the garden in the cool of the day, and Aḏam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of יהוה Alahiym among the trees of the garden. And יהוה Alahiym called unto Aḏam and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid myself.” And He said, “Who made you know that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?” And the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree and I ate.” And יהוה Alahiym said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” And יהוה Alahiym said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, you are cursed more than all livestock and more than every beast of the field. On your belly you are to go, and eat dust all the days of your life. “And I put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her Seed1. He shall crush your head, and you shall crush His heel.” Footnote: 1First promise of the Messiah. To the woman He said, “I greatly increase your sorrow and your conception – bring forth children in pain. And your desire is for your husband, and he does rule over you.”

Sisters, this is a lesson that we should not be listening to men who don’t agree with what we know to be true, especially if we are married and our husbands taught us something and the man is trying to convince us otherwise.  This scripture also shows us the qualities of men that we should not consider as mates: the man who will sit around and say nothing while we are making mistakes.  Adam was right there next to Hawwah when she was talking to the serpent and ate the forbidden fruit.  If a man really loves you he will correct you for the sake of your relationship and lead how he was meant to lead according to scripture.  I’m not talking about a slavery type of correction but a gentle teaching kind of correction. Our punishment for eating the forbidden fruit is 1) pain in childbirth and 2) our desire will be for our husband and he will rule over us.

What is the meaning of our desire?





From H7783 in the original sense of stretching out after; a longing: – desire.

The root word is:





A primitive root; to run after or over, that is, overflow: – overflow, water.

We all can probably relate to the word shook. 🙂 Now, let’s look at the word rule in v.16:





A primitive root; to rule: – (have, make to have) dominion, governor, X indeed, reign, (bear, cause to, have) rule (-ing, -r), have power.

I can see why some women get scared when they hear the word submission.  I’m so thankful that the world’s view of submission is different from scripture’s view of submission.

Let’s go to Ephesians 5:22-33:

Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Master. Because the husband is head of the wife, as also the Messiah is head of the assembly, and He is Saviour of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Messiah, so also let the wives be to their own husbands in every respect. Husbands, love your wives, as Messiah also did love the assembly and gave Himself for it, in order to set it apart and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word,1 Footnote: 1Rev. 19:8-9. in order to present it to Himself a splendid assembly, not having spot or wrinkle or any of this sort, but that it might be set-apart and blameless. In this way husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but feeds and cherishes it, as also the Master does the assembly. Because we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This secret is great, but I speak concerning Messiah and the assembly. However, you too, everyone, let each one love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she fears her husband.

This scripture shows a great analogy which is: Messiah is to Assembly as Man is to Woman. If a man is under the authority of Messiah, he will know that a woman being in subjection to him is not a dictatorship.  Yahusha came to serve the assembly by giving His life for it.  That should be the case with the husband. He should love his wife and protect and cover her at all cost. It does not mean domination, discrimination or any other nasty word that comes with the world’s mental definition of the word submission. This passage speaks about the man loving his wife as Messiah love the assembly and gave Himself for it (v.25).  The man will not want another man to talk down to him so why should he talk down to his wife? A man will not want another man to make him feel like a slave so why should he want to make his wife feel like one? Although the man is the head of the home he should not be a dominatrix to her by abusing her mentally nor physically. He should love her as he loves himself.

We as women have our part as well.  We should reverence our husbands (and if we don’t have one yet, we should be reverencing Alahiym).  We were made to be helpers for our men. We are not equal to them, nor should we want to be. Men have a lot of responsibility on their shoulders.  Yahuah will hold the man accountable for his family.  They are our protectors, providers, and our covering.  We all have a part that makes the relationship great.  If we want to be the man, who would they be?  It only leaves one position and that is to be the woman and we all don’t want our men to be subject to that position. Proverbs 18:22 says: He who has found a wife has found good, And receives favour from יהוה.

By him having us women, he is favored so if he knows scripture he will know how much of a blessing we are to them. Our roles are different and without each role there will be lack in the relationship. Let’s go to 1 Corinthians 11:3; then we will jump down to verse 8-12.

And I wish you to know that the head of every man is the Messiah, and the head of woman is the man, and the head of Messiah is Alahiym. For man is not from woman, but woman from man. For man also was not created for the woman, but woman for the man. Because of this the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the messengers. However, man is not independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Master. For as the woman was from the man, even so the man also is through the woman. But all are from Alahiym.

When we know our roles the household will run smoothly.  Yahuah is not the author of confusion.  He set an order and we have to submit to it.  Colossians 3:18-19 says:

Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as is proper in the Master. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

Also, 1 Timothy 5:8 says:

And if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the belief and is worse than an unbeliever.

We as women should always provide for our homes and take care of our responsibility so that we won’t go against Yahuah. Also, if our husbands are not providing for us and being mean and bitter towards us, are we to return the same actions to them? No.  (We can always refer to the story of Abigail and how she still honored her husband during harsh times – 1 Samuel 25). We will see in the next scripture that Yahuah will not even listen to our husbands’ prayers when we are at odds with each other.  When our husbands’ prayers are not being answered it can affect the whole household.  We have to help our men to get it together with us and the Most High.  Let’s go to 1 Peter 3:1-9:

In the same way, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that if any are disobedient to the Word, they, without a word, might be won by the behaviour of their wives, having seen your blameless behaviour in fear. Your adornment should not be outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on dresses –  but the hidden Man of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a meek and peaceable spirit, which is of great value before Alahiym.  For in this way, in former times, the set-apart women who trusted in Alahiym also adorned themselves, being subject to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Aḇraham, calling him master, of whom you became children, doing good, and not frightened by any fear. In the same way, husbands, live understandingly together, giving respect to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the favour of life, so that your prayers are not hindered. To sum up, let all of you be like-minded, sympathetic, loving as brothers, tenderhearted, humble-minded, not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, in order to inherit a blessing.

I will be the first to admit that I’m not all the way there when it comes to “not saying a word” according to verse 1 because I like to try to prove my point. I have to bite my tongue and just be quiet and let the Ruach reveal to my husband the matter at hand so that we can avoid an argument.  Verse 3 and 4 is talking about the importance of having our hearts right above the focus of the outward appearance. When the inside is in order, the outside is sure to follow.  We can cover our heads and wear modest clothing all day, but if we are not first modest in our hearts it means nothing to Yahuah.  Having a meek and peaceable spirit means much more because Yahuah sees our heart.  Verse 6 shows that Sarah called Abraham master.  Sarah showed respect for her husband and it was acknowledged as good in the eyes of Yahuah.  We are to exhibit the same attitude to our husbands and teach young women and our children to do the same.

Let’s turn to Titus 2:3-5:

the older women likewise are to be set-apart in behaviour, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of what is good, in order for them to train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, blameless, workers at home, good, subject to their own husbands, in order that the word of Alahiym is not evil spoken of.

In closing, we all should strive to do all that the Word of Alahiym says to do.  If the Word says to be subject to our husbands then we need to do it.  We have to tear the layers of the world away which teaches us to be independent and that we rule the world as Beyonce put it.  In our daily lives we submit to police officers, teachers, the government, and employers with no problem, so when we come home we should not have an issue with submitting to our husbands and/or to the Most High.  Let’s hide these words in our heart so that we won’t sin again Yahuah (Psalms 119:11  I have treasured up Your word in my heart, That I might not sin against You).  The only way that we can truly submit to our husbands without difficulty is to be in submission to Yahuah first.  We have to stay in the Word and love with the love of Yah who loves unconditionally.  We have to tap into His love to be able to love others.  Let’s serve others unselfishly and in doing so we will be blessed and highly favored!  HalleluYah!

Baruck Haba Bashem Yahuah!